I experienced heartache today. At work. In relationships. With my family.

It was maybe the only day in my life where sadness found me in every. single. corner. of my life. And yet, lying here tonight at 2am, I can’t stop thinking about how much love I experienced today.

I had to let go of team members that I grew very close with for no fault of their own. And somehow, in a moment where I was taking something they cared about away from them, they could tell how much I was hurting. They showed me kindness, forgiveness and empathy through their own tears.

There was so much love in that.

There were tears in personal relationships. The complicated kind. Two people can be a good match, care a lot for each other but these things alone don’t make everything simple. It turns out sometimes it can feel awkward to be held in the right way.

There was love in that too.

My sister cried about our parents.

About time. About getting older. About how much they mean to us and how impossible it is to love people deeply without eventually becoming afraid of losing them.

That was a deep love.

Some think love is always supposed to feel good… being a kid with someone, psychological safety, intimacy, holding someone, being understood.

I learned from a young age attending funerals of loved ones, that for me, love is particularly visible in sadness.

Heartache needs a heart that cared deeply first. Grief needs something rare and valuable worth missing.

Today hurt a lot. But through all of it, I felt so. much. love.

From the sad goodbyes.

From someone I couldn’t hold so tightly anymore.

From my sister thinking about our parents.

From myself and all the tears I shed, realizing how deeply I care about all of it.

Love was everywhere today.

I just had to look for it through tears.